The Extinction of Human Relations
It started innocently enough. One day, folks discovered that typing “LOL” was faster than actually laughing. Next thing you know, hugs were replaced by emojis, arguments by CAPS LOCK, and dinner conversations by, “Sorry, can’t talk—my Wi-Fi just dropped.”
By 2035, people no longer asked each other out; they just swiped left or right on holograms. By 2040, babies were raised not with lullabies but with YouTube auto-play. And by 2050, the last couple on Earth officially broke up because one of them liked their ex’s vacation photo.
The archaeologists of the future—probably AI chatbots with personality issues—will dig through terabytes of old text threads, memes, and TikToks, scratching their digital heads. They’ll conclude that humans didn’t perish from disease, famine, or war, but from an overdose of “Reply All” emails and 2 a.m. doomscrolling.
Moral of the story: When “relationships” became “connections” and “conversations” became “comments,” humanity clicked itself into extinction… but at least their last words were well-formatted and came with a GIF.