The Council of Red Saucers
Deep in the galaxy, the “Teeny-Tiny Alliance of Really Small Aliens” had one sacred mission: to make contact with Earth’s leader. Their scouts reported a lush green field with massive flat landing zones, perfectly spaced and ready for diplomatic arrivals.
Down they came—fwip-fwip-fwip-fwip!—four scarlet saucers gliding into formation, settling on the turf with a dignified hum. To the aliens, this looked like the Oval Office lawn. To Earthlings, it was just the neighborhood playground.
The aliens deployed their landing ramps (toothpick-sized), marched out in neat rows, and raised their antennae high.
“Attention Earth!” squeaked Ambassador Glip. “We request an audience with your supreme commander!”
The grass blades whispered in the wind. The saucers gleamed proudly. Then came a booming sound—
THUD. THUD. THUD.
A giant shadow loomed. It wasn’t the president. It wasn’t a general. It was… a Labrador retriever chasing a tennis ball.
“Abort! Retreat!” the aliens cried, diving back into their saucers. The dog circled, sniffed, and wagged its tail, mistaking them for chew toys.
When the aliens finally escaped, zooming back into orbit with their dignity dented, Ambassador Glip wrote in his log:
“Earth is ruled not by kings, nor generals, nor presidents… but by enormous, slobbering beasts who control the humans with cuteness. Approach with caution.”
And somewhere on the playground below, a kid plopped down on one of the “spaceships” and shouted, “Wheee!”—completely unaware he had just foiled first contact.