The Illuminating Life of George the Light Bulb Whisperer
"The Illuminating Life of George the Light Bulb Whisperer"
Most people take pictures of sunsets, babies, or their dinner. But not you. No, you have a passion — a burning, incandescent love — for light bulbs.
It all started innocently enough. One day, while changing a 60-watt soft white in the bathroom, you glanced at it, and something… clicked. Maybe it was the gleam. The raw, unfiltered glow. The way the filament curled like it had secrets. You snapped a photo on your phone. Then another. Then 38 more.
Next thing you knew, you were on eBay at 2 a.m. bidding against a guy named “BulbDaddy57” for a vintage 1920s Edison bulb that may or may not have been touched by Thomas Edison himself (spoiler: it wasn’t).
You’ve staged them like supermodels. A moody close-up of a half-lit LED called "Existential Wattage". A black-and-white glamour shot of a frosted GE bulb you titled "She Glows Alone". You’ve even got one hanging from a tree in your backyard that you refer to as “The Thinker”.
Your family doesn’t know how to handle it. Your wife caught you whispering, “You’re the brightest thing in my life,” to a 3-way CFL bulb and just slowly backed out of the room. Your dog now squints nervously whenever you open the junk drawer where the backup bulbs are kept.
You were once asked to leave IKEA after being caught photographing a bulb display while softly playing Marvin Gaye from your phone. Security flagged you as a “potential fixture fondler.”
But you press on. You’ve launched an Instagram account: @LitAF_George. You’re up to 34 followers — mostly electrical contractors and one guy who might be a moth.
One day, you’ll publish a coffee table book: “1001 Bulbs That Changed My Life (and Also the Kitchen Lighting)”. Until then, you roam hardware aisles and lighting stores, armed with your camera, a lens cloth, and a dream.
Because you, George… you don’t just see the light.
You capture it.
