Christmas in June: The Tale of Twinkle Tom
There once was a silly old man named Tom Twillinger—though everyone in town just called him “Twinkle Tom.” Why? Because he had a glow-in-the-dark reindeer tattoo on his left calf and kept Christmas lights in every room of his house… year-round. Even the bathroom.
Tom loved Christmas more than he loved his dentures, which he once left behind at a chili cook-off but didn’t even notice because he was busy testing out a new peppermint cocoa recipe. Every December, his house became a local landmark, blinking and sparkling so bright that low-flying planes used it for navigation. The local electric company had a special hotline just for him.
But this year, June rolled around, and something in Tom just snapped. Maybe it was the heat, maybe it was the way the neighbor’s inflatable pool looked like a sad snow globe, or maybe it was because he heard “Jingle Bell Rock” playing at the grocery store and took it as a divine sign.
Tom decided he couldn’t wait another six months.
On June 25th, he threw open his windows and yelled, “MERRY HALFWAY CHRISTMAS, EVERYONE!” at the top of his lungs while wearing a Santa hat and… shorts. Just shorts. Red and fuzzy, trimmed with tinsel.
He turned on every single Christmas light he owned. His house blinked like it had a sugar high. People two towns over thought there was a UFO landing. He built a snowman out of freezer ice, wrapped his palm trees in garland, and placed a “Dear Santa” mailbox on his front lawn. Kids started sending letters. Tom answered them all with glitter pens and peppermint-scented stickers.
His neighbor, Martha, who hadn’t smiled since the late '80s, even cracked a grin when she saw him riding around on a scooter singing, “O Come, All Ye Faithful,” while towing a stuffed reindeer named Kevin.
When the local news came by to ask what he was doing, Tom just shrugged and said:
“Why should December get all the sparkle? I’m old. I don’t have time to wait for joy.”
From that summer on, the town celebrated “Twillinger Day” every June 25th—an unofficial holiday where people strung up lights, wore ugly sweaters in 90-degree heat, and grilled fruitcake.
And Tom? He kept glowing till the end, quite literally—he was buried with his favorite string of lights, and every Christmas, the cemetery twinkles just a little brighter in his honor.
